Sucks to Suck

Doug Whaley

Written by: Michael Roza

The Almighty Buffalo Bills. Nobody circles the wagons quite like them. Or, well, never mind. Chris Berman is a saint. For over fifteen years now the Bills have been in a perpetual tailspin into mediocrity a professional football franchise in the National Football League. If you were born in Buffalo after January 8th , 2000, you have no f***ing clue what playoff football looks like unless a winning team comes into town to play at New Era Field. Since that fateful afternoon in Nashville (Rest those middle fingers easy Bud Adams), Buffalo have bid adieu to nine head coaches and as of this past Sunday morning, five general managers. Doug Whaley, who was “relieved of his duties” after helping the Bills with a major trade with their old AFL rival Kansas City during the 2017 NFL draft, is the latest victim of the s**t show that has been the end of the Ralph Wilson Era and early Pegula years in the Queen City of the Lakes.

If you characterize Whaley’s tenure as a non-player in the NFL, you can best say that he was responsible for some bangers and some boners. He is a hero in the city of Pittsburgh from his time spent as a personnel coordinator in the Steel City. In his decade in Pittsburgh, Whaley assisted the Steelers in selecting Troy Polamalu, Lawrence Timmons and Lamarr Woodley. He spent three seasons moving up the organizational ranks in Buffalo until Buddy Nix stepped down as GM in May of 2013. When Whaley took over the ship three days later, he was just 40 years old and was part of a committee responsible for bringing in Doug Marrone, who is now the head coach and Tom Coughlin’s puppet in Jacksonville. He also snagged Sexy Rexy, and you know, that didn’t really work well either. To Whaley’s credit, he drafted 2013 Defensive Rookie of The Year Award winner Kiko Alonso, and then after an injury stunted his development, Whaley flipped Alonso to Philly for LeSean McCoy in 2015. Whaley’s Bills also had to endure EJ Manuel, Thad Lewis, Jeff Tuel, Kyle Orton, and Tyrod Taylor as quarterbacks that made starts under his watch.

To get to my point, I was just as perplexed as anyone as to why when I was eating my generic breakfast in a quaint hotel lobby to read “Breaking News: Buffalo Bills Fire GM Doug Whaley” on the ESPN crawl. Why would you let him make trades and draft players if you don’t want to keep him? If you were Dan Snyder, you would just fire his ass before the draft and let him make phone calls to his bros in the NFL and let him spill the beans for what your former team’s draft plans are. Maybe the Bills wanted his keen eye for talent one last time. After all, their first selection with pick number 27 was talented LSU corner Tre’Davious White. And, to be quite honest, if Kansas City were to lose Travis Kelce and Tyreek Hill to injury this coming season, Alex Smith and that gimmick offense will have a rough time helping that stellar defense stay off the field, which might make this trade even more intriguing come the 2018 draft. However, at the end of the day, the Pegula family now has Sean McDermott as their new head coach, and from all early reports McDermott was not too keen on Whaley. Any way you look at it, the Bills still don’t have a f***ing NFL quarterback, and unless the Patriots 32nd overall pick Brandin Cooks and his new teammates forget how to play football for the first time in almost two decades, with or without Whaley, Buffalo isn’t likely to see a playoff appearance soon. Sucks to suck.